{"id":2198,"date":"2024-11-26T16:03:44","date_gmt":"2024-11-26T22:03:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/?p=2198"},"modified":"2024-11-21T16:12:40","modified_gmt":"2024-11-21T22:12:40","slug":"aita-for-prioritizing-my-dog-over-my-fiancees-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/aita-for-prioritizing-my-dog-over-my-fiancees-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"AITA for Prioritizing My Dog Over My Fianc\u00e9e\u2019s Kids?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\tAITA Part 2: Is Pregnancy a Great Excuse for Everything?<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\n\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\tAITA Part 1: Who’s the Boss?<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t
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AITA for having second thoughts about marrying my fianc\u00e9e because of how her sons treat my dog and her parenting style?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

I (51M) am divorced and engaged to my fianc\u00e9e (36F), who has two sons, 9 and 12. I love my fianc\u00e9e, and we\u2019ve been together for one year. She\u2019s smart, funny, and compassionate\u2014at least to me. But lately, I\u2019ve been having serious doubts about whether I can marry her, and it all revolves around her boys and my dog.<\/p>\n\n

I have an older German Shepherd, Max, who is my best friend. Max 11 years old and is a gentle, quiet soul who wouldn\u2019t hurt a fly. Unfortunately, that seems to make him a target for my fianc\u00e9e\u2019s boys. Now that they are spending more time at my house, I notice that they seem to have fun tormenting him\u2014pulling his tail, poking him, throwing his toys at him, and trying to scare him. Max just looks at me with those sad eyes or tries to hide behind my legs, and it breaks my heart.<\/p>\n\n

When I\u2019ve told the boys to stop, they either laugh it off or argue. My fianc\u00e9e, instead of backing me up, gets angry<\/em> with me. She says, \u201cThey\u2019re just boys\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re being too sensitive.\u201d She never admonishes them or sets boundaries. I\u2019ve tried to explain how unkind it is to bother Max, but it feels like I\u2019m hitting a brick wall.<\/p>\n\n

It\u2019s not just about Max, though. I\u2019m worried this is a glimpse into her parenting style. If we have a child together, I fear she\u2019ll raise them with the same lack of discipline and accountability, which I find unacceptable. I grew up with the belief that kindness to animals is a reflection of a person\u2019s character, and this situation has made me question whether we\u2019re truly aligned on values.<\/p>\n\n

I don\u2019t have children of my own, so I\u2019ll admit I don\u2019t have direct parenting experience. However, I was very involved in helping to raise my five nieces and nephews, all of whom have grown into wonderful, kind, and compassionate human beings. I know what respectful, empathetic kids look like, and this behavior isn\u2019t it.<\/p>\n\n

I\u2019ve brought up my concerns with her a few times, but it always ends in an argument. She accuses me of being too harsh on her kids and of prioritizing Max over them. It\u2019s not about choosing one over the other\u2014I just want to protect Max and know that if we\u2019re building a family, we\u2019re on the same page about how to raise children.<\/p>\n\n

I love her, but I can\u2019t ignore how deeply this bothers me. Am I overreacting? AITA for having second thoughts about this engagement? Should I stick it out and hope things change, or is this a sign that we might not be compatible after all?<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have an older German Shepherd, Max, who is my best friend. Max 11 years old and is a gentle, quiet soul who wouldn\u2019t hurt a fly. 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