{"id":2250,"date":"2024-11-30T08:45:44","date_gmt":"2024-11-30T14:45:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/?p=2250"},"modified":"2024-11-30T08:54:30","modified_gmt":"2024-11-30T14:54:30","slug":"aita-for-not-letting-the-daughter-i-gave-up-for-adoption-come-to-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/aita-for-not-letting-the-daughter-i-gave-up-for-adoption-come-to-thanksgiving\/","title":{"rendered":"AITA for not letting the daughter I gave up for adoption come to Thanksgiving?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Am I the asshole for turning down my biological daughter\u2019s request to join Thanksgiving?<\/strong> <strong>Would I be wrong to keep Thanksgiving just for my current family?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">Throwaway account because I don\u2019t want anyone I know to find this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">I (39F) had a baby when I was 16. My parents were very supportive, but we decided that adoption was the best choice. I\u2019ve always known it was the right thing, but it\u2019s still been a hard thing to carry. My husband (41M) and I have been married for 15 years, and we have two kids (12F and 9M). Neither he nor my kids know about the daughter I gave up, and the topic has never come up in my adult life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">About a year ago, my daughter (23F) found me. We\u2019ve been talking regularly\u2014pretty much daily\u2014and I love our relationship. She\u2019s an amazing young woman, and it feels like this huge piece of my heart that I thought was lost has come back to me. My mom (63F) knows about her, as she was there during the pregnancy and adoption. She\u2019s always hoped to meet her granddaughter and has talked more about it as she\u2019s gotten older. My dad (66M), on the other hand, has never spoken about it since the adoption. I have no idea how he would feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">Here\u2019s where the problem starts: My daughter wants to meet the family. She\u2019s really excited to meet her siblings and grandparents, and she\u2019s suggested Thanksgiving as the perfect opportunity. But I haven\u2019t told my husband about her yet. I know keeping this a secret from him for over a year is wrong, but I just didn\u2019t know how to bring it up. I was scared he\u2019d be upset that I didn\u2019t tell him earlier, and I don\u2019t know how he\u2019d react to the fact that I have another child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">I feel trapped. If I don\u2019t let her come, I\u2019m worried it\u2019ll damage our relationship, but if I do, it could blow up my entire family. My mom thinks I should just tell everyone, but I don\u2019t even know how to start. My dad might react badly, my husband might feel betrayed, and my kids could be confused or upset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">I love my daughter and want her to feel like she belongs in my life, but I also don\u2019t want to destroy the family I have now. Am I the asshole for telling her that Thanksgiving isn\u2019t the right time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1\">TL;DR: I gave up my daughter for adoption when I was 16. We\u2019ve been talking for over a year, but I haven\u2019t told my husband or kids. She wants to meet the family at Thanksgiving, and I\u2019m panicking. Would I be the asshole for saying no?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I gave up my daughter for adoption when I was 16. We\u2019ve been talking for over a year, but I haven\u2019t told my husband or kids. She wants to meet the family at Thanksgiving, and I\u2019m panicking. Would I be the asshole for saying no?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2252,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[253,252],"tags":[178,207,150,180,181,11],"class_list":["post-2250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aita","category-blog","tag-aita","tag-family","tag-family-dynamics","tag-marriage","tag-parenting","tag-thanksgiving"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>AITA for not letting the daughter I gave up for adoption come to Thanksgiving? - Chat &amp; Bother<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/aita-for-not-letting-the-daughter-i-gave-up-for-adoption-come-to-thanksgiving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"AITA for not letting the daughter I gave up for adoption come to Thanksgiving? - Chat &amp; Bother\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I gave up my daughter for adoption when I was 16. 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