{"id":2261,"date":"2024-12-03T04:47:44","date_gmt":"2024-12-03T10:47:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/?p=2261"},"modified":"2024-12-03T04:47:44","modified_gmt":"2024-12-03T10:47:44","slug":"im-retired-and-done-playing-santa-does-that-make-me-the-bad-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/im-retired-and-done-playing-santa-does-that-make-me-the-bad-guy\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m Retired and Done Playing Santa\u2014Does That Make Me the Bad Guy?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

AITA for telling my adult kids we\u2019re going on vacation instead of buying as many Christmas gifts as usual?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I (62F) recently retired, and my husband (65M) and I are finally starting to enjoy this new phase of life. After decades of hard work, my husband suggested we treat ourselves to a bucket-list vacation. It\u2019s pricey, but we can afford it, and honestly, I\u2019m excited to spend time focusing on us after years of putting our kids first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the thing: Christmas has always been my thing.<\/em> When I was working, I loved going all-out for the holidays, buying multiple gifts for each of my nine grandkids and still giving meaningful presents to my four adult children (ages 28 to 37). But this year, with me retired, it feels like time to scale back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The issue? My kids don\u2019t seem to feel the same. They\u2019ve already sent over their Christmas wish lists, including their kids\u2019 lists, just in time for the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales. Normally, I\u2019d jump into action, but my husband pointed out that it\u2019s not our responsibility to play Santa anymore. He thinks we should give one thoughtfully chosen, reasonably priced gift per grandchild and let the parents handle the rest. He also doesn\u2019t think we should buy gifts for our adult kids this year, given that they\u2019re grown and capable of providing for themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see his point, but one of my kids is going through a messy divorce and struggling financially and emotionally. Another was recently laid off and is trying to make ends meet. My single-dad son works so hard to give his kids a good life, and I know he relies on our gifts to make their Christmas special. The youngest is financially stable, has a great job, and could probably buy all the kids gifts if he wanted to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I mentioned to them that we\u2019re planning a vacation and might not do as much gift-giving this year, their reactions were mixed. My divorced child seemed hurt but didn\u2019t say much. The one who\u2019s laid off sighed and said they understood but looked disappointed. The single dad said, \u201cThe kid will be happy with anything,\u201d but I know how tight his budget is. And my youngest? They just said, \u201cGood for you! Can we go too?\u201d I think he was joking, but you can never tell with that one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel so guilty. Part of me thinks my husband is right\u2014our kids are adults and should handle their own holiday responsibilities. But another part of me feels like I\u2019m letting everyone down, especially when some of my kids are clearly struggling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, AITA for prioritizing a vacation with my husband and scaling back on gifts for my kids and grandkids this Christmas?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ETA – For context, we\u2019re not in financial trouble. We have been smart with our finances, and the holidays are my planned splurge time. I can do both, but it would go against how we usually manage our money, which got us to this comfortable retirement stage in the first place. Why start being irresponsible now? I just feel torn between starting this new chapter of retirement and keeping up with the traditions I\u2019ve always loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TL;DR:<\/strong>
I\u2019m a recently retired mom of four and grandma to nine. My husband and I can finally afford a dream vacation, but scaling back on Christmas gifts for my adult kids and grandkids is making me feel guilty. Some of my kids are struggling financially, and I\u2019ve always gone all-out for the holidays. My husband thinks it\u2019s time for our kids to take over the big gift-giving while we focus on enjoying our retirement. Am I wrong for choosing a vacation over maintaining our usual Christmas traditions?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a recently retired mom of four and grandma to nine. My husband and I can finally afford a dream vacation, but scaling back on Christmas gifts for my adult kids and grandkids is making me feel guilty. Some of my kids are struggling financially, and I\u2019ve always gone all-out for the holidays. My husband thinks it\u2019s time for our kids to take over the big gift-giving while we focus on enjoying our retirement. Am I wrong for choosing a vacation over maintaining our usual Christmas traditions?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2260,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[253,252],"tags":[178,145,208,10,207,150,181,179,152],"class_list":["post-2261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aita","category-blog","tag-aita","tag-celebrations","tag-children","tag-christmas","tag-family","tag-family-dynamics","tag-parenting","tag-reddit","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nI\u2019m Retired and Done Playing Santa\u2014Does That Make Me the Bad Guy? - Chat & Bother<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/im-retired-and-done-playing-santa-does-that-make-me-the-bad-guy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I\u2019m Retired and Done Playing Santa\u2014Does That Make Me the Bad Guy? - Chat & Bother\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m a recently retired mom of four and grandma to nine. 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