{"id":2327,"date":"2025-01-04T22:34:07","date_gmt":"2025-01-05T04:34:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/?p=2327"},"modified":"2026-02-04T21:01:38","modified_gmt":"2026-02-05T03:01:38","slug":"aita-for-wanting-to-tell-my-friend-that-his-wife-is-on-a-dating-app","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/aita-for-wanting-to-tell-my-friend-that-his-wife-is-on-a-dating-app\/","title":{"rendered":"AITA for wanting to tell my friend that his wife is on a dating app?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Saw my friend\u2019s wife on a dating app\u2014am I wrong to get involved?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<iframe data-testid=\"embed-iframe\" style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/201NtqiP8chpMEKoVrh3Ou?utm_source=generator&#038;theme=0\" width=\"100%\" height=\"152\" frameBorder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/iframe>\n\n\n\n<p>I (45M) am recently divorced and back in the dating scene. My ex-wife cheated on me, which led to our divorce. It was a horrible experience, but I\u2019m glad I found out. I\u2019d rather know the truth than live in ignorance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since the divorce, I\u2019ve been using dating apps, but honestly, it\u2019s been a frustrating experience. A few days ago, I was swiping through profiles when I saw someone I immediately recognized\u2014my ex-wife\u2019s best friend, &#8220;Sarah&#8221; (not her real name). She\u2019s married to one of my close friends, &#8220;Tom&#8221; (also not his real name).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<iframe width=\"800\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xOxQtk1zsEI?rel=0\" title=\"YouTube video player\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n\n\n\n<p>I was so shocked that I immediately closed the app. But before I did, I saw several photos on her profile that I recognize from events I attended with Sarah and Tom when I was still married. These aren\u2019t ambiguous pictures; they\u2019re clearly her and from moments we all shared as a group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, I feel torn. On one hand, I feel like Tom has a right to know. I know what it\u2019s like to be cheated on, and I wouldn\u2019t wish that on anyone. On the other hand, I\u2019m worried about how this might look. Sarah is close to my ex-wife, and I fear they\u2019ll spin it as me being bitter or trying to ruin other people\u2019s marriages because mine failed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I haven\u2019t said anything to anyone yet, but it\u2019s been eating at me. If I were in Tom\u2019s position, I\u2019d want someone to tell me. But is it really my place to say something? And if I do tell him, how do I even bring this up without sounding like I have ulterior motives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, AITA for wanting to tell my friend his wife is on a dating app? Or should I just stay out of it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Edit to add:<\/strong>&nbsp;This isn\u2019t an old profile. Sarah and Tom have been married for 12 years, and they have three young kids. I\u2019m very close to their family\u2014Tom\u2019s kids even call me \u201cUncle,\u201d and I love them like my own. I\u2019d never want them to go through the pain my son experienced during my divorce. That\u2019s part of why I\u2019m so conflicted; I feel like staying silent could hurt them in the long run.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Listen to the full episode:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<iframe allow=\"autoplay *; encrypted-media *; fullscreen *; clipboard-write\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"175\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:660px;overflow:hidden;border-radius:10px;\" sandbox=\"allow-forms allow-popups allow-same-origin allow-scripts allow-storage-access-by-user-activation allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\" src=\"https:\/\/embed.podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/aita-should-he-tell-his-friend-that-his-wife-is-on-a-dating-app\/id1661142823?i=1000722997084\"><\/iframe>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Saw my close friend\u2019s wife on a dating app with recent photos. They\u2019ve been married 12 years and have young kids I\u2019m very close to. I don\u2019t want to see my friend or their kids go through what I did during my divorce, but I\u2019m afraid speaking up will make me look bitter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2326,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[253,252],"tags":[178,170,258,207,150,151,180,179,152],"class_list":["post-2327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aita","category-blog","tag-aita","tag-dating","tag-divorce","tag-family","tag-family-dynamics","tag-friendship","tag-marriage","tag-reddit","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>AITA for wanting to tell my friend that his wife is on a dating app? - Chat &amp; Bother<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/chatandbother.com\/w\/aita-for-wanting-to-tell-my-friend-that-his-wife-is-on-a-dating-app\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"AITA for wanting to tell my friend that his wife is on a dating app? - Chat &amp; Bother\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Saw my close friend\u2019s wife on a dating app with recent photos. 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