AITA for taking my ex-husband to court to amend our child support order so he has to help pay for private school for our child?
I (44F) am the mother of two children: an 18-year-old who is heading to college soon and a 13-year-old who just got accepted into a prestigious private school. My ex-husband (45M) and I divorced about 10 years ago, and he has since remarried a 34-year-old woman. Together, they have a 13-year-old child who was born during our marriage.
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Recently, I found out through my ex-sister-in-law (not my ex-husband or his wife) that their 13-year-old also got accepted into the same prestigious private school. My ex-husband and his wife have decided to send their child there, and they were planning to pay the full tuition. However, when our 13-year-old also got accepted, my ex refused to pay anything toward their tuition.
I know my ex-husband’s finances well enough to realize that if I take him to court and the child support order is amended to require him to pay half of our child’s tuition, he likely won’t be able to afford the remainder of the tuition for his other child. This would probably result in their child having to attend public school. My ex has accused me of trying to ruin his household and sabotage his other child’s education, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect him to treat both of his children equitably.
His argument is that private school is a luxury, not a necessity, and that our child will do fine in public school. However, I strongly believe that our child deserves the same opportunities as his other child, especially since our child worked hard to get into the school. I am willing and able to pay half the tuition but feel it’s unfair for my ex to refuse to contribute while fully funding his other child’s education.
Because he has refused to voluntarily contribute, I’ve decided to take him to court to request an amendment to our child support order. If the court agrees, he would likely be ordered to pay half the tuition for our child.
My ex and his wife are furious, accusing me of being vindictive and causing unnecessary drama. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I’m just fighting for fairness for my child, but now I’m second-guessing myself.
AITA?
TL;DR: I’m taking my ex-husband to court to amend our child support order so he’ll help pay for our 13-year-old’s private school tuition. He’s refusing to contribute, claiming it’s a luxury, while fully funding his other child’s tuition. I know his finances, and he won’t be able to cover both, so his child with his wife will probably have to go to public school. I’m just trying to ensure fairness, but my ex and his wife are furious. AITA?
