AITA for not wanting to continue to date a man because of his Star Wars figurine collection?
I (49F) have been dating a great guy (52M) for a few months now. We get along really well—he’s kind, funny, responsible, and we have a lot of shared interests. We are both child-free, and we are dating with marriage in mind. We’ve already had conversations about what a future together would look like. We both like to travel and go to sporting events from American football, to cricket, to wrestling – we have traveled to watch so many fun things. Polo and sheep shearing are on our list. We agree on pretty much everything.
Here’s the issue: he has a massive collection of Star Wars figurines and toys, all neatly displayed in his apartment. While I appreciate that it’s something he enjoys, I cannot imagine living in a home where these figurines are present. Whether we were to move into my home (which is larger) or buy a place together, I have no intention of dedicating space to them. The idea of trying to explain them to friends if they visit honestly embarrasses me.
He is so much fun, super interesting, and quite sophisticated. Our conversations are varied and wonderful – never boring. But one thing he rarely discusses is this collection.
To be clear, he doesn’t treat them like toys—his nieces and nephews aren’t even allowed to touch them. He has mentioned that many of the pieces are quite valuable and that he has even had the collection appraised. While I understand that it’s an investment for him, I just don’t see myself sharing a home with shelves full of Star Wars figurines.
He hasn’t outright said he expects to bring them if we ever live together, but I assume they would come up at some point. I’m starting to think I should just end things now rather than deal with an inevitable argument down the line.
I feel like maybe I don’t deserve him if I can’t get over this one thing. Would I be the a**hole for calling it quits over this?
TL;DR: I’m a 49-year-old woman dating a great 52-year-old man, but he has a massive Star Wars figurine collection that I can’t see myself living with. His collection is valuable, neatly displayed, and strictly off-limits to kids. While he hasn’t insisted on bringing it into a shared home, I assume it would be an issue down the line. I feel embarrassed at the thought of explaining it to friends and have no intention of dedicating space to it. Would I be the asshole for ending the relationship over this?
