AITA for telling my mom she can’t accept clients without my approval even though she funded our business?
I (46F) went into business with my mom (67F) about two years ago. My mom and I have always been super close—she’s my best friend—and we share a passion for interior design. When her uncle passed away, she received a large inheritance and suggested we start a design business together. I thought it was a great idea since we both love creating beautiful spaces, and it seemed like an amazing opportunity for us to bond while doing what we love.
Mom fully funded the business, and while I contribute a lot to the day-to-day operations, she’s been a wonderful business partner. We’ve been really successful so far and are earning good money.
Here’s where the issue comes in: my mom keeps accepting jobs for her friends at steep discounts—or even for free. She insists it’s good exposure, but we don’t need exposure. Our client list is full, and the business is thriving. The problem is, these friends almost never share our work on social media or leave reviews. They rarely refer us to paying clients, and when they do, it’s often to their friends who also want discounts or free work.
We also don’t have the time for these free or deeply discounted projects. Every hour we spend on these low-paying or unpaid jobs takes time away from work we could be doing for paying clients. It’s frustrating because I feel like we’re putting in a lot of effort for people who don’t truly value what we do, and it’s not a good use of our resources.
I’ve tried talking to my mom about it, telling her I think people are taking advantage of her kindness. She insists it’s her way of giving back and that these friends “deserve” it. But I think there’s more to it. I feel like my mom feels guilty for her success. She’s more financially secure and busy than most of her friends her age, and I think she gives these discounts to make herself feel better. I understand wanting to help others, but it’s gotten to the point where it’s hurting the business.
I told her that from now on, she shouldn’t accept any clients without running it by me first. She wasn’t thrilled. She said it’s her money that started the business, so she should have a say in how we run it. I get her point, but I’m frustrated because this isn’t just a hobby for me—it’s my career, too.
Some of her friends are now upset, saying I’m being greedy and controlling. Mom thinks I’m being too harsh, but I think we need boundaries to keep the business sustainable and professional.
So, AITA for trying to set limits on how my mom handles clients, even though she funded the business?
TL;DR: I (46F) went into a successful interior design business with my mom (67F), who funded it with her inheritance. She keeps giving friends steep discounts or doing free work, even though we don’t need exposure and it takes time away from paying clients. I think her guilt over her success is driving these decisions, but it’s hurting the business. I told her she shouldn’t accept clients without my approval, and now she and her friends think I’m being controlling. AITA?
